There are the difficult questions of life. Just like the one about your purpose? What is your purpose on the planet? How about what does love or happiness mean for you? Can you define success? How much money are you worth? What are your top-3 goals in life?
It is tempting to fumble for a generic answer just to make the question go away.
To babble something socially acceptable instead of really digging into your personal reality.
A friend of mine consistently hit the Les Mills session on Thursdays because he said he wanted to stay in shape. One night he confessed that the real reason was the boobs. The trainer just had some inspiring style, I’ve got to admit it. So the session on Tuesday simply wasn’t an option.
An interviewer might say the applicant wasn’t skilled enough while actually the applicant smelled bad and had ugly teeth.
Or the amazing one liner cliche of the break up movies. ”Its not about you. Its about me.” While we all guessed what the real reason was.
Once, a prospected customer was all-in with my business proposal. There were no visible obstacles to close the deal. Content was valuable to the customer, they really needed the help, the price was right, contracts were crafted and everything was ready. But we just could not close the deal and sign the contract.
A month later the reason became evident. My contact person had changed the company. So there was a motive to stall. It simply wasn’t ready for the daylight.
All the answers he gave me, were answer to make the question go away. Not answers to help me understand.
People always have two levels of motives. The private and the public.
What are the public motives at your office to keep on doing what you’ve always done? How about the secret ones?